As an experienced PT I hear a lot from my clients past and present. Relationships flourish in our intense 1hr sessions and we expose snippets of our lives to one another. Sometimes the mundane like how the day has treated them, sometimes the vaguely bemusing like the pros and cons of why someone would want to travel on the train daily to and from London or the unbelievable world of the novo riche and their value system, the cut throat world of sales, the back stabbing office politics or the passion filled voice of the environmentalist/lobbyist/teacher or entrepreneur.
I marvel at how different people place importance in such varied pursuits dictated by their family status, beliefs, financial constraints and religions.....I suppose I am the only constant in these peoples diverse profiles. I look through my lens observing how they operate, listening to them, supporting and motivating, trying to work out what psychology will best achieve results and build confidence in their physicality....the one area they so often all fall short in.
It led me to seeing how so many people just need a leg up, just a tiny little lift, a bit of safety net just for them. On a daily basis these people usually provide this for all the other people they support and encourage to grow and deliver around them....but this hour, this precious time out of their “real loves” is all about them.
And this body that carries them to and from the London train, the shops, the office and the 5 bed mock tudor electronic gated eye sore....day in day out....they neglect....and don’t trust, have no control over, rules them.....it’s a cycle on repeat I see over and over again. People come to hate themselves because of the way they look on the outside and forget to look on the inside to look for the beauty.
The first and best lesson that a good PT or anyone who wants to help a friend in this mindset is to listen. Listen to the words between the lines. Work out what the root of the problem is...just like when you feel pain, it is often not the site of injury. A person like this does not just eat a chocolate hobnob because it’s there, he or she will be punishing themselves, having a fat day, sad/happy, in sabotage mode, going to throw it up, etc etc.... Each of these reasons needs a different solution; it can sometimes take me a while to unpick all this information. I get many red herrings along the way and people can be intentionally misleading when they feel under threat by someone who is looking for a new method of approaching life compared to what they are used to.
I lose some along the way....it’s the way it is. I do try my best with everyone but it simply won’t suit everyone. Most of my successes come from people who have hit the bottom and are on the rebound. For one reason or another they have finally realised that the way they have been going about trying to make changes isn’t working for them and they are open, completely open to seeing an alternative route.
For me to work my skills to the best effect I demand complete trust in my methods and approach. This can take a little time to earn....again I may lose some along the way here. It happens because people are not quite ready to be influenced.....but for those who make the distance and trust and work hard, they get all they want and more for the rest of their lives.
Now I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I know that what I do is pretty powerful and I hope that this vague account goes some way to demonstrating that.
