Old days, new times...

OK so it’s not exactly the Kung Fu crane stance I’m visualising every time I adapt it into a workout, but for me working from all resources is important. If that means moulding an exercise or improving the pattern of muscle recruitment to achieve my outcome then I will.

In 1984 when I first saw Miyagi in the crane stance standing on a piece of wood sticking up through low tide in the movie Karate Kid I marveled at his physical mastery. It could be argued it was that very image burned into the back of my mind which drove me to become a competitive kick boxer.

The pose in its natural state isn't exactly a devastating technique; in fact it provides merely an element of mystery as to your next attack which could be a quick stance switch mid air (as indeed Daniel did to deliver the winning front kick to his opponents chin) or simply a well defended rest bite for you. What I have found it most useful for is teaching balance, poise and timing.

I practice this pose on flat ground, can execute it in the ring if the judges have their glasses on and I’m looking for some flash points, on rollerskates, balance beams, bosu balls, etc etc.... There is often a constant in exercise, in this instance it is some variation on a one legged static pose. Everything around me can change, but I will execute a perfect pose.

Over 20 years have passed since I first started moving like this and I still value these basic movement patterns. It’s how I learnt and continue to remind myself of my musculoskeletal structure, its limitations and how far I could push to make them less and less and less limiting.

Balance is not a tool that is employed often enough in our macho world of strength building and aerobic capacity in my opinion. It’s easy to see why when you look at how stability training (ie pilates) and breathing through poses (ie yoga) are marketed. But if you were to consider movement to be a form of play or a function we should all expect from our bodies would you look at it differently? Our bodies have yet to catch up with the urbanisation of our world, why expect anything different than to walk around shaped like the chair we sit in all day?

Piste off ski

I have a heightened sense of personal space. I know about this, have done for a while, I’m ok with it. I pretty much always accommodate for it in my day to day...but skiing I have noticed does not allow for this. It puts me, as a beginner, in a mild state of panic when I hear the crunch and swish of some competent snow gliding colourful cloth wearing thermal base layering born in an igloo type lines me up to for a glamorous and slick double shimmy and leg bend overtake in a majestic swoop and curve...damn him for being so fine and perfect...why doesn’t he realise I need the entire width of the piste to maintain a vertical posture and complete silence please.

Snowboarders although carrying the most offensive tag to most skiers just by their very being, to me provide a slightly...marginally...less annoying existence. As a snowboarder carves the piste he makes more of a scraping noise. You know it’s going to be a teenage boy or a middle aged man usually, neither group I seem to find a problem speaking my mind to, and that he will either be completely masterful and just an annoying tw*t or so past it you feel sorry for him anyway so feel like leaving him alone to cope with hair loss and middle aged spread is bad enough without exacerbating his misery.

Due to the difference in the approaching scrape noise pitch I can calibrate my internal "annoyometer". A skier of the aforementioned proficiency scores highly enough to get me to stop in my unbalanced tracks and wait for him to pass in the manner of someone who is so vexed they cannot even muster the words to communicate that. Oh but he knows...I throw such a steely glare and pose stridently across the piste until he passes, ashamedly, that only someone with no sense of personal space who was so oblivious enough to me as to enjoy the beautiful sunny snow filled mountains couldn't pick up on that aggressive body language.

The snowboarder receives a slightly different handling. Firstly as previously identified he will be at a disadvantage in life so to be so harsh seems unfair. And secondly it’s not his fault he choose that outfit, it seemed fashionable in the darkly illuminated shop where the bass was so fat he couldn't feel his own heartbeat.
In these displays of piste disregard I try and simply carve around his random tracks sometimes it works, sometimes I have to completely change my planned turn, which affects my course enough to wobble me enough to get my knickers in monumental twist until either I or he give each other the death stare or fall over laughing.

As for lift queue etiquette or general orientation and traversing around resorts with huge bits of heavy moulded plastic to one's feet it would seem that no-one adheres to normal social conduct and gliding into a complete stranger is perfectly acceptable. As are body parts that need airing/warming/deblistering or wageling along with general acceptance of erratic movement.

Apart from all of the above, I’m not quite sure what I expected, I mean what exactly is normal about flying down the side of a mountain on bits of carbon fibre dressed in colourful and ill-fitting clothing (note the camel toe, both male and female) with gay abandon to what is often a very demanding serious and responsible daily existence?

Faking it...

Recently I discovered the faux blogger. Even more recently I discovered that some people make full time very well paid jobs from this. My word how do they sleep?

A faux blogger is one who blogs to drive traffic to his site by including well used google search terms in his diatribe, rather than because he has something informative, passion filled or useful to share with the world.

As well as annoying me (admittedly not hard to do!) for his shallow deception he steals my audience! So to the Faux blogger and all your kind I say......



And to my 3 followers....I thankyou

The easier way to the new you.

Lets be honest....we all know a leopard can't change its spots, added to which how tired are you of reading the same old trite which you bust a gut (pun intended) trying to adhere to for the first 6 weeks of each year before you fall off the wagon and console yourself with sofa surfing and a few kitkat chunky's?.....

So with that in mind here's my plan for registering a more active lifestyle in your daily routine:

*Carry stuff up the stairs individually when they need to be taken up
*Skate/cycle/run/push or generally move in a way other than steering your car's wheel to get the kids to and from school/dance/cubs/swimming....delete accordingly...god look how active the kids are;)
*Go to your mates birthday, get drunk, dance, embarrass yourself....wake up the next day and leave it behind you without regret, smile inside, flush your bod with lots and lots of water, and don't eat junk.
*Plan some meals even if in your mind and shop for ingredients. Cook before you get hungry. Shop for food before you are hungry too. Make enough for leftovers and serve plates pre-loaded before you bring them to the table of the correct portion size and don't go for seconds. Store leftovers in portion sizes and use them for meals when time is tight.
*Eat desert at restaurant's if you want to, also at friends dinner parties and other social occasions, don't beat yourself up about this, enjoy the freedom, learn to recognise it is an infrequent event but not a treat for abstaining generally just a less common than before occurrence.
*Pitch exercise sessions carefully, make sure you don't go at it like a mentalist and cause yourself pain. You wont return. This would be an example of a typical new yearalist.
*If you make a bad meal choice or fill your face with chocolate just move on, don't buy a carrier bag of crap for the rest of the day telling yourself you'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes.
*If you're really anti exercise you may want to consider an alternative to gyms...something outdoors, anything, could be a better place to start. Do you know your surroundings? Can you pick two country pubs and walk the footpaths between them?
*Get a dog and be a good dog owner.
*Don't drink at home unless entertaining.
*Join that club/team/game....seize the day.
*Goal setting works for most people, once they have started a program of activity. If you are pre-active spend some time thinking about what you would like to be like...look around you at friends, role models, partners and notice who moves the way you want to move, who looks to have the confidence you envy or the swagger in his stride, who feels comfortable with their physique and happy with their balance. Most importantly find people who understand moderation and sustainability. Look at their lives, see how it differs to yours, see where they fit the activities in that you think you cant. They can do it, so can you.